Sunday, May 4, 2008

Booze in the Window - Post 13

I had lunch today after church with a woman who has been a fellow worshiper for about 5 years. Although I speak to CJ every Sunday, I find I'm just now really getting to know her. I am learning that she's an intelligent, delightful, multi-faceted individual -- and a great story-teller. We had a lovely, long lunch with lively conversation and lots of laughter. I repeat here one of the stories she shared.

At the time of this event, CJ was 6 years old and lived in a small southern Arkansas town; you know, one of those where everyone knows everyone... and everyone's business; not many secrets there. CJ's daddy was a deacon in his church (one of the teetotal denominations), and although everyone knew he was a deacon, come Christmas time, someone (not a church member, of course) would inevitably gift him with a bottle of bourbon. Being the good deacon that he was, the gift was never directly consumed, but would be given over to the care of their cook, who would store the bottle on top of the refrigerator then use it as flavoring for the next year's holiday fruitcake. The fruitcake was wrapped in cheesecloth, liberally soaked in the liquor, then put aside to "mature" until the holiday meal. [I happen to be quite fond of southern fruitcake, but cannot think of anything worse to do to it than drench it in bourbon, the flavor of which I find overwhelming!]

After this year's fruitcake making, CJ and her best girl friend, being of a curious nature, decided they needed to sample some of the remaining whiskey. They pulled up a chair to stand on, retrieved the bottle, got two small glasses from the cupboard and poured about a finger of whiskey in each. They didn't actually drink the stuff, she said, but instead stuck their tongues into the glasses for "a taste." One tongue-full was more than ample; they spewed and snorted and poured the contents of their glasses down the drain. Thinking they heard an adult approaching, and not wanting to be caught with the bottle, CJ grabbed it and ran to the living room. Seeking a hiding place, she placed it behind the curtains in the room's bay window.

[You know what's coming, don't you?]

About an hour later, the neighbor across the street telephoned CJ's mother. She told her she might want to check the front window, because there was something in there which was causing motorists to really slow down as they passed.

Now, CJ is younger than I, although not by many years, but she clearly remembers the tongue-lashing she received from both her parents. Mother was horrified and mortified; Daddy was distinctly distressed. She did not say if the discipline she received was more than verbal.

I'm looking forward to our next long lunch.

9 comments:

TSannie said...

I'm looking forward to the next chapter from CJ. Hurry!

Hilary said...

I'm enjoying your posts regardless of whose story it is.. your voice tells it well.

afeatheradrift said...

What a lovely blog you have Pat, and what a funny story. You seem to be one of those just plain interesting people who always have something amusing to say! I'm glad I came by and I'll be stopping by regularly!

Kacey said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I love this story. You have a great story telling (or retelling!) voice.

You've got quite a friend in CJ.

Old Wom Tigley said...

Hi Pat
I called by to say hello and to thank you for commenting on my friends blog.. 'Parrots Perch'. Peter dose not have a PC and can just about managed to use a keyboard... I host his blog for him, he turns up at my place with a memory card full of pictures and over time we come up with the posts you see.
Peter prefers to live out doors away from folk at times but he likes to see the comments he gets on his blog.. it gives him a boost.
I know he will be pleased by what you wrote so on Peters behalf I say Thank you.
Tom

"JEANNELLE" said...

Oh, what a cute story! Sounds like a friendship with CJ will be great fun!

Ranch wife said...

Pat, I remember one time my grandmother had a batch of brandied fruit going. She liked to serve it over ice cream. Well it was her turn to feed supper to the revivel preacher that came to our Baptist church for the annual meeting. Her fruit had been going a while and it had fermented quite well. A little too well. She served dessert and the preacher, his wife, our preacher and his wife, declared it the best dessert they had ever had. They ate several bowls. Lets just say that the preaching that night was interesting to say the least. My dad teased her for years about getting the preachers drunk which of course horrifed her. But it was funny.
Ranch Wife

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

That's a wonderful story, Ranch Wife! I'll bet the fruit was really tasty, and about 100 proof! LOL

Rose said...

First time reading this...it is a good story. I used to visit your blog often and for some reason got away from it/lost it...don't know what happened. Probably came with a computer change...there is one I "lost" and cannot remember the name of for the life of me...I used to visit it every day...she was a quilter and had a new granddaughter named Sophie...that has been probably 2 or three years ago and every so often I search for her with no luck...I found a quilter named Sophie...but not one with a granddaughter named that...

anyway, I see I have missed a lot. I will probably be gradually reading back through. And enjoying every minute.